Hi. My name is Agrontrutta. I’m a just a dumb farm kid from North Dakota and this is my Straub Story. I know this guy, calls himself the “Chief”, who fancies himself “soc un gran pescador”, whatever that means. Anyway, the Chief herds around this group of misfits call the RBF prostaff. One guy thinks he’s Ansel Adams and is always taking pictures of stuff. Another guy shoots poor defenseless bison (not buffalo, there are no buffalo in North America) like he’s Buffalo Bill Cody or something. And then there’s the prostaffer who freaks out at the sight of fuzz. I can’t even begin to describe the quirks, eccentricities, and neuroses of the rest of the staffers. But, I digress.
The Chief is always going on about this stuff called Straub. Like, he’ll say “we murdered ‘em on an RBF Bombay emerger and then we drank a case of Straubs.” Or, “Goose landed this ungodly rainbow on a gooseberry. Then we drank a case of Peter Straubs dark.” I mean, the guy can’t shut up about this Straubs stuff. So, finally, I’d had enough and last fall at the slate drake summit (a summit is like a fly fishing version of the burning man bacchanalia in the desert, except that we don’t have a burning man and we’re not in the desert and we keep our clothes on. Otherwise it’s exactly the same. Go ahead and laugh.) I tried Peter Straub’s Special Dark beer. Ungodly. It was so good I cried. It was so good I started scanning the bargain sheet for a team of American Mammoth Jackasses (or it is Jackii?) to buy. From now on it’s nothing but Peter Straub’s Special Dark for me. It’s my beer of choice for the Big Woods Summit. And that’s my Straub story.
The Chief is always going on about this stuff called Straub. Like, he’ll say “we murdered ‘em on an RBF Bombay emerger and then we drank a case of Straubs.” Or, “Goose landed this ungodly rainbow on a gooseberry. Then we drank a case of Peter Straubs dark.” I mean, the guy can’t shut up about this Straubs stuff. So, finally, I’d had enough and last fall at the slate drake summit (a summit is like a fly fishing version of the burning man bacchanalia in the desert, except that we don’t have a burning man and we’re not in the desert and we keep our clothes on. Otherwise it’s exactly the same. Go ahead and laugh.) I tried Peter Straub’s Special Dark beer. Ungodly. It was so good I cried. It was so good I started scanning the bargain sheet for a team of American Mammoth Jackasses (or it is Jackii?) to buy. From now on it’s nothing but Peter Straub’s Special Dark for me. It’s my beer of choice for the Big Woods Summit. And that’s my Straub story.
3 comments:
You must drink that ungodly Special Dark straight out of the Eternal Tap!
"a summit is like a fly fishing version of the burning man bacchanalia in the desert, except that we don’t have a burning man and we’re not in the desert and we keep our clothes on. Otherwise it’s exactly the same."
I don't know why, but that's the funniest thing I have ever read. That's going to roll around in my noggin for a long, long time. I just may have a smile on my face for the rest of my life. If you can believe that.
In fact, this is the most ungodly post that I have ever read!
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Chief
"Soc un gran pescador!"
Happy to brighten your day.
I might make a side trip to St. Marys and visit the eternal tap on my way to the Big Woods.
Agrontutta: Well said indeed. You are a true artist with words. The Straub Beer Brewery is near Cabelas. Make plans to visit each historical site on your way to the summit. One place features an eternal tap and the other eternal crap.
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