Where Am I?

A change of pace for the mid-winter willies. This bridge is in a damp city that inspires lots of sighs from awe-struck visitors. Don’t be a prisoner in your cozy palace of snow and ice. Try to guess where I am:

1. High Street Bridge, Bellefonte
2. Bridgida, Gena Lola
3. Rio di Palazzo, Venezia
4. The Trestle footbridge, Coburn
5. Rio de la Rossitere, Etats Unis
6. Puente de Humberto, Andulasia, Espana

The first one to correctly identify the name of the bridge and its location will share in a recent $20 million windfall from my new friend Arundo Donax in Nigeria. Arundo’s family was recently ousted in a coup and he chose me to safe guard their funds in a PNC branch bank in Lagos. Just send me your SSN, bank account, and routing information and you will be set for life! Second prize is 100,000 shares in Bernie Madoff’s new hedge fund “Sing-Sing Growth and Income.” I hear it’s really secure.

Got Buffalo?

Any Questions?

The head alone weighed in at 96.5 lbs.

In Spite of Ourselves

The Chief and the Fair Maiden in the Third Meadow

She don't like her eggs all runny

She thinks fishin with bait is funny

She looks down her nose at money

She gets it on like the Easter Bunny

She's my baby

I'm her honey

I'm never gonna let her go

He gets laid every night and twice on Sundays

I like it when he buys me sexy undies

He’s real slow but he gets things done

Drinks his beer like it's oxygen

He's my baby and I'm his honey

Never gonna let him go

In spite of ourselves

We'll end up a'sittin' on a rainbow

Against all odds

Honey, we're the big door prize

We're gonna spite our noses

Right off of our faces

There won't be nothin' but big old hearts

Dancin' in our eyes.

She thinks all my jokes are corny

Vampire movies make her horny

She likes bourbon on her scrambled eggs

Swears like a sailor when she shaves her legs

She takes a lickin'

And keeps on tickin'

I'm never gonna let her go.

He's got more balls than a big brass monkey

He's a whacked out weirdo and a fly fishin junkie

Sly as a fox and crazy as a loon

Sulphurs come and he's howlin' at the moon

He's my baby

I don't mean maybe

Never gonna let him go

In spite of ourselves

We'll end up a sittin' on a rainbow

Against all odds

Honey, we're the big door prize

We're gonna spite our noses

Right off of our faces

There won't be nothin' but big old hearts

Dancin' in our eyes.

There won't be nothin' but big old hearts

Dancin' in our eyes.

She's Gonna Kill Me

This is the chick that I took fishin many, many years ago. Now you see why I call her the "Fair Maiden". She really liked Opening Day, but I preferred to take her night fishin.

Happy New Year!

I wish to thank the Pro Staffers for their fellowship, entertainment and dedication over this past year. It has been a very enjoyable time. It has been great gathering with such notable and interesting characters. Thank you for sharing your ungodly talents on this blog. It has been a great pleasure for me to be in your association. Thank you and may God bless you and your families in the coming year.