Paella Night

For those of you who are regulars to this blog no doubt are familiar with the Culinary Performance Art Tour De Force which is the Chiefs Paella. For those of you who have not experienced this dish here is a sample of what you missed.
Warning the following series of photos contains images which might be considered disturbing by tree hugging bambi lovers, young children, and anyone lacking an appreciation for outdoor cookery.

Rule one

Have atleast 2 apprentice "xefs" on hand at all times

This is a minimum as one will have the direct responsibility of attempting to start a fire with wood that was thoroughly soaked in the driving storm the night before.

The second apprentice will be primarily responsible for keeping #1 from murdering the "soc un Gran Xef" for leaving the firewood (especially the temperature control logs) out in said torrential downpour. This is best acheived by keeping a steady stream of freshly seared wild ramps and morels along with spirited libations in apprentice #1 hands.

Rule 2

Always start with the meat.

In this case a melange of wild game including:

Turkey sausage, venison sausage, Squag of the fox and gray variety and the absolutely critical Chorizo (and not that damned dried stuff from Mexico)

Rule 3

DO NOT STIR

The spoon you see is actually defending the Paella from the ungodly flies that were yet again invading the Rossiter Lodge

Rule 3-A

If it ain't Bomba it ain't Paella

Rule 4

Frozen Peas, Shrimp and Clams in a bag are permissible only if the tedious prep for these items would interfere with the pickling process of the Xef and first apprentice (more on this in a moment).

Rule Five

Always return the meat to the pan for serving. If for no other reason than it is just a wholly ungodly presentation.

Addendum

I mentioned pickling the Soc un Gran Xef earlier. The primary reason for this is so some smart ass with a camera can capture the shot above, not to mention it adds to the quality of the show. Sort of like making the guy at Bennihana take a shot for every shrimp tail he tosses into his hat.

Not wanting to be outdone, Bunyan offered up his own delicacy:

Fire Grilled Jalapenos stuffed with cream cheese and Prosciuto.

We are still awaiting the official judgement of Bunyans dish from the Chief.

All of the above dishes were tested on the animals of the Rossiter Lodge............

The verdict is still out on whether they were harmed or not!